Know Your Roots in America

Family and Friends,

Throughout the journey of life, one will ask about where they came from. I am no different. My parents came from two very different parts of the world. Since, right now, I live in America, where am I from in America? The answer to this question comes down the lineage of my father who grew up in Talladega, Alabama.

My great-grandmother and great-granddad (stepdad), who raised my dad, lived in the house on the right (between this address and the warehouse, gas station).

near - 108 Martin Luther King Dr, Talladega, AL 35160

great-grandparents place (next to gas station)

front porch view

The original house I remember is replaced because a felon burned the original house down after murdering my great-granddad in it. (Luckily, my great-grandmother passed away years before this murder due to a stroke or brain hemorrhage or something.) This is the new house built (and I have no idea why they built it smaller and in yellow).

What I'm trying to figure out is the house address? Why can't I find this house address on Google Maps? Where my great-grandparents living on sharecropper's land and that's why I can't see the address?

I need to apparently go back and learn more about my roots. Many answers lie in the past, but are unknown if kept hidden or ignored. I'll see you soon, Talladega and my family roots.

Understanding Today's Premature Babies

"The baby’s brain undergoes much growth and development in the last weeks of pregnancy."

Family & Friends,

Like many men, I was ignorant of the entire pregnancy process and its vital role in a person's life. After all, a person starts off being a baby. I learned a lot during my wife's first pregnancy which resulted in a miscarriage. I learned a lot during my wife's pregnancy that gave us our firstborn. However, I didn't learn much about the struggle of those who have a premature baby (i.e. a baby born before s/he reaches full term pregnancy). As you probably can tell, my quote above from the article below tells how important a full term pregnancy actually is.



After watching the episode from "This Is Us" where Kate and Toby give birth to a premature baby, I was prompted to ask myself what would I do in such a situation. I asked myself how I would cope and yet stay strong for my family especially the baby. I asked myself how much I actually knew about caring for a premature baby and his/her parents. I knew nothing.

This article by Very Well Family was very helpful and educational. And, its quick chart on a premature's baby survival definitely brings a reality check.
https://www.verywellfamily.com/premature-birth-and-viability-2371529

Are you shocked by these statistics like I am? Did you know that a baby born after 25 weeks (about 6 months) has a 50/50 chance of surviving - compared to a baby born 26 weeks (about 6 1/2 months) having an 80% chance of surviving? A baby that barely reaches the last trimester only has a 50/50 chance of survival?

Just like every baby is different, every pregnancy is different. This uniqueness also applies to all babies born prematurely. Each intervention for a premature baby by our modern day healthcare requires a one-of-a-kind care. Parents of the premature baby also play a vital role in the survival of the premature baby.

Today, premature babies have such an incredible survival probability. Well, in fortunate countries like the United States that have a healthcare system supporting mothers and babies. But what did people do before we had all of this modern health technology and techniques? I can't imagine. People like me are fortunate to live in a place and time where if I did have a premature baby, I can at least still hold onto hope for my little one. Hope of surviving thanks to today's health interventions.

But before any person even thinks about such an health intervention, a person who is involved in a pregnancy should his/her very best to learn more about the pregnancy, encourage and support the pregnant woman, and pray the baby (and mother) endure the full pregnancy term. The baby's life depends on it.

Phileo Love.

Experiencing the School Lottery System

Family and Friends,

Since when did school become a privilege and not a right - for every child?

When I watched "Waiting for Superman" almost a decade ago, I never thought my wife and I would actually have to go through this process. But, this process now also applies to us as parents here in Washington, DC. One would think that any school that our kid(s) get matched with is an acceptable school. However, with the rise of public charter schools, the rise of private schools, the decline of quality education offered in public schools, and the drastic rise of population in DC (which is also gentrifying DC), the school competition is just as bad as the housing market.

For almost my entire life, I never had to worry about which school I would attend. I was an Army kid and my schools were preset for me. After college and living the world that most Americans live, I quickly caught on to the root issue for most systems in America. Our education system sucks. I'm not just saying this. Anyone can look it up online for our nation's ranking in education among all nations.

When my wife and I had to research (looking up school rankings, mapping school locations near us, using online tools like Niche) and learn about the school lottery process in DC, it was daunting. We had to learn about all the schools in DC. We had to learn about our own dreams for our first kid who would attend school. We had to learn about the school lottery system. We even went to the DC schools convention (called EdFest) to learn more about each school via school representatives. By the way, the convention was overcrowded and it's difficult to have a quality conversation with a school rep in such an atmosphere. Lastly, we had to go online (which means any parent who wants their child to enter a school offering a quality education suiting his/her child will need to be somewhat computer literate). All of this, just to hope that schools in our top picks will somehow match up with our kid. Well, after submitting our application almost one month ago, today the results came in and here they are:

Thank God, we got matched with one of our school picks! We can't imagine if our kid didn't get matched at all. How horrible of a feeling a parent will have to cope with? Would a parent then decide on homeschooling? Would a parent have to choose between working to put food on the table and schooling his/her kid with a quality education? Would a parent move, if s/he could?

Just to help myself understand the weight of these questions, I decided to investigate what my kid's lottery number actually meant in terms of probabilities getting into the school per the waitlisted schools. I couldn't find the actual number of applicants for PK3 and had to make due with the information that I did find.

For our top pick with Mundo Verde, my kid is ranked either #117 or #208. I would like to believe that this school opened another school to help increase the chances of kids getting into the school and it sounds great. But with looking at the total enrollment of 578 students for PK3-5th grade and the increasing rate of applicants, I can only remind myself that it's not actually out of the interest of the students (or parents) rather than the school's interest causing the opening of another school. Else, why not open two more schools since they have so many applicants? My complaint here isn't only directed towards Mundo Verde, but all of these schools in the lottery system.

Moving on to our next pick with DC Bilingual, my kid is ranked at #197. This school has a total enrollment of 440 for PK3-5th grade. Really, only one school from this program with this many applicants (based on my kid being ranked at almost 200)?

Last, but not least (on the waiting list) is our pick with Elsie Whitley Stokes. My kid is ranked #131 and this school has the lowest enrollment total at 350 for PK3-5th grade. This is no better than DC Bilingual especially knowing they have two language programs and the total enrollment is most likely based on both programs.

Overall, being waitlisted in the 100's when there are only about 40 slots for PK3 for each school is not really providing any hope at all. They might as well have said that my kid just didn't get in (and not raise anyone's hope).

Another challenge here is understanding what it means to be "matched" along with the rest of the  terminology here. I had to search and learn about this on the DC school lottery website.
https://www.myschooldc.org/enroll/waitlist-management

As I learned, the only reason why I don't know if my kid was accepted into E.W. (French), Yu Ying, and/or Bunker Hill is because my child got matched to a higher ranked school, Mary McLeod Bethune. This is strange because what if I decided that the location of the school now mattered more than a program offered at the school? For instance, E.W. is closer to me and perhaps I would choose E.W. (French) instead. I guess I'm just out of luck? Is this how the lottery works? Do I really need to be a pro at this school lottery game to give my kid a chance to get into the most preferred school for my family?

In addition, being the parents that my wife and I are, we also applied separately to another public charter school not participating in DC's School Lottery: LAMBS. And, we heard that our kid has been accepted into their school. Thank God!

But, did you notice what I noticed with the bold text on the header of the school lottery results? That there are "no spaces available for PK4 and Kindergarten"? Most likely meaning that if your kid didn't get into the school during PK3, then it's even less likely your kid will get into the school later (unless his/her younger sibling is a lottery winner).

Before I close out my thoughts here, I want to show you the reality of this insanity. Our son got into one of the 40 slots out of 627 students that applied (via parents, of course). If you compare the list below with the list pictured above, then you'll notice that the PK4 and the Kindergarten lists don't expand to 627 students. PK4 ended with 307 and Kindergarten ended with 215 students (still applying). Thank you LAMB for your transparency.

Overall, this doesn't excuse the system that our nation has created for our families. For a nation that prizes its morals and values based on a family foundation, our nation is failing without a doubt. In conclusion, parents will not only have to be smart with parenting their own children but also other children in the neighborhood if we truly want this nation to be safe and healthy.

God help America.

Detecting Liars: The Jussie Smollet Case

Disclaimer: I'm no expert in detecting liars.

So, in watching and observing this case with Jussie Smollet, here are some things that I considered when detecting if he was lying:

1. Cussing publicly - a victim most likely will never cuss publicly especially on TV because of their awareness of the public's sensitivities to language, their will to tell the truth for all (including children who could be watching) to hear, and their emotional outlet entitling such cussing has already passed via a private setting
2. Staring hard - a victim most likely will never stare so hard into an interviewer's eye or camera when making truthful statements partly because of the guilt or shame that comes with feeling such hurtful truth
3. Looking up (a lot) - a victim most likely will never look up (to think - strategically) more than look down (to think - emotionally)
4. Tone Change - depending on the question, his tone changed (and even his body language with facial expression; a victim usually has consistent tone throughout an interview because of the pain
5. TV before Case Closed - a victim usually doesn't interview with TV or any media outlet until the case is closed

What a learning experience considering I just watched this YouTube on detecting lying (by Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_6vDLq64gE

Here's Jussie Smollet's interview with ABC:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXLx5OY21Bk

CNN's Don Lemon discusses his personal relationship with Jussie Smollett in light of the "Empire" actor facing charges of allegedly filing a false police report, claiming two men attacked him.
https://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2019/02/21/jussie-smollett-attack-don-lemon-sot-ctn-vpx.cnn

I hope you find this useful.

God Speed,
G2

P.S. Did I fail to mention that it's also Black History Month (when this case happened)?

The Price Techies will Pay for Precious Time Passed Over in Silicon Valley

Hey Fam,

Yeah, I often wonder how the reality of life plays out living in Silicon Valley (or in SFO) considering the "Tech Boom" or "Tech Wars". Many say it's the ideal place to be for a techie or software engineer. And, I sometimes dream about being there.

However, after reading this article (which I'm sure is exaggerated), I'd rather stay where I'm at and enjoy my family time.
https://thebolditalic.com/this-is-your-life-in-silicon-valley-933091235095

Sadly, I think our next generation raised, on social technology, stressed out parents, increasingly unfriendly competition, and no time to truly learn who they are without being compared to others, will be at a disadvantage by the time they graduate from college (if they graduate or even if they make it) and have some resentment towards my generation.

All this to say - there's a price to pay when sacrificing long term gain for short term gain. Especially, when the price is paid with your family, then nothing will be more personal of a long term loss.

Take care of your family first. True friends will be like real family. Wise work will keep you adding value to the world while seeing your personal value also go up (and not based on some stock market evaluation).

God Speed,
G2

Book Review - God just showed up!

God just showed up!

(by Linda Watkins)

For someone new to Christianity, this is a very encouraging and helpful book. The testimonies from many aspects of life, from those in jail, off the streets, at higher learning institutions, to places of ministry leadership are refreshing to hear. We learn a lot from stories and how true of testimonies.

What makes this book special is that it's a collection of testimonies from African-American Christians. Still today, many of these testimonies are not heard. There are various reasons, but I won't talk about it here. I do give praise to the author, Linda Watkins, for publishing this book and providing more exposure of such testimonies.

Main Points

There really isn't a lot of main points from this book since it's a collection of various testimonies. But, there is one which is reflective of the title.

• When God shows up and you invite Him to take control of your life, you will be blessed beyond expectations.

Favorite Quotes

Here are the quotes that I liked from various people sharing their testimonies.

1. In recent years, scholars have revealed the African presence in the Bible, from the Garden of Eden in ancient Northeast Africa to the Afro-Asiatic roots of Jesus Christ.
2. Perhaps one of the greatest tragedies of the late twentieth century was the large number of African-Americans who lost touch with God. Some stopped seeking Him. Others never knew Him. He is the same God who helped our ancestors survive the treacherous journey to America on slave ships. He is the God who brought our people out of slavery and marched beside us during the Civil Rights Movement.
3. God Almighty is a personal God who is calling each of us to count on Him.
4. Hope...is the belief that something good is going to happen despite how bad things look.
5. "Growing up poor in the inner city makes you grow up fast." - Curtis Martin
6. "I found that the more I read the Bible and was around people who were into God, the stronger my relationship with Jesus got and the more I was able to resist temptations." - Curtis Martin
7. "Many people are just looking for peace in their lives. God can bring that peace all of us want." - Curtis Martin
8. "God used her in our home to set an example for me when I should have been the one leading my family." - David Clark
9. "It didn't happen in a moment; it was a process." - David Clark
10. "God had to break me down spiritually and remake me all over again so I could really hear and understand His Word." - David Clark
11. "My whole career sprang from God helping me to get that internship with Mayor Bradley and my subsequent work for the mayor." - Tavis Smiley
12. "...I learned that things happen in God's time." - Tavis Smiley
13. "The lesson is don't mess around. Do your best, and God will do the rest." - Dr. Ben Carson
14. "But now God was saying, 'You do this, and I'll do that.'" - Lamont Couch
15. "I want you to study now," God said one day. "If you want Me to invest in you, you need to invest in yourself." - Lamont Couch
16. "We need to tell them early that guns don't turn them into men; God does." - Evelyn Stokes
17. "They'd say yes (to still seeing a missing piece in their life after detox) and that's why they didn't know what else to do but go back to drugs. That's why they kept on relapsing." / "The missing piece is Jesus Christ." - Ronald Tyler
18. "I had been so bored at the Episcopal church my family attended when I was growing up that at this stage of my life, I was an agnostic who believed in a 'supreme being', but that was about it." - Linda Watkins
19. "In my research and personal study, I read about the biblical figure Nehemiah, the leader who returned to his Jerusalem birthplace to help the disgraced children of Israel rebuild the city's damaged walls. Like Jerusalem, the neighborhood around the projects had become a modern-day disgrace." - Chloe Coney
20. "While I was living in the suburbs, residing in my comfort zone, I read about God and His goodness in the Bible. Now I know about His goodness because I've experienced God's blessings firsthand. Like Nehemiah, the Lord led me to help restore my broken community." - Chloe Coney
21. "I was motivated more by wanting to keep my girlfriend than feeling the need for a personal savior."- Lewis Lee
22. "Somebody has to nurture you when you're a baby in the faith, or the devil will snatch you and steer you toward your old ways." - Lewis Lee
23. "I'm an ordained minister. I teach new members, lead a prayer group, and occasionally preach at my church. I'm also a full-time doctor and chief of oncology at a hospital. Can you believe after all I went through, the Lord allowed me to have two careers?" - Dr. Mary Reed
24. "Although I was really trying to live right, no one would reach out to teach me or disciple me so I would know how to live right. So no matter how many Bible verses I read, over the next five or six months I started slipping back into my old lifestyle." - Gary Shields
25. "I got serious about trusting God. No church. But I read the Word - religiously." - Gary Shields
26. "He 'discipled' me one on one, and like any good teacher, He made sure I didn't miss important points." - Gary Shields
27. "But in the movement, politically conscious brothers and sisters believed that Christianity was ''the white man's religion"." - Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu
28. "Africentricity can't fill the void during major challenges like when your marriage is in trouble, your children are wayward, and you have more bills than revenue." - Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu
29. "The first sign (of God) came a year later when "The Skin I'm In" became an overnight success." - Sharon Flake

Favorite Verse

'When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."' - John 8:12 (NIV)

What's Missing?

I hate to provide criticism instead of pure encouragement of my Afro-Am writers and authors, but we must have higher standards as Christians overall compared to the norm. So, I'll only say as a "seasoned" Christian that we need more stories of those who DO follow the Word and Spirit to continue shining for Jesus. Testimonies don't always need to have dramatic events like falling into drug addiction, gang violence, or avoiding God's calling for selfishness. Where are the testimonies of the Noahs, Josephs, and Ruths?

Book Review - Love Kindness

love
KINDNESS

(by Barry H. Corey)

Biola University's President Barry Corey does an excellent job in highlighting what he calls 'a lost virtue' on the topic of "kindness". His title follows Micah 6:8. Although I feel he gets long winded or discusses this topic throughout this book, the point still remains and perhaps it's one of the reasons why he keep repeating: Christians (true believers in Jesus Christ) need to have a firm center with soft edges. These soft edges equal the kindness. Many Christians today, and I agree with him, either have hard edges (and maybe even soft centers), no edges, or have the soft edges but with no firm center.

Therefore, his position and perspective is challenging for Christians who somehow have stopped learning the way of Jesus. In addition, the challenge is greater as the stance on kindness is an outwardly act and not one to be kept within Christian circles. We, followers of Jesus Christ, are to be kind to everyone. I love some of his stories where he struggles to be kind with those who believe and think differently than he. More so, I love his joy in the struggles to be kind to those who express their negativity with Christians and/or with Jesus Christ. Like him, I agree that people in general don't know Jesus primarily because they don't see this loving kind Jesus in his followers - us Christians.

I welcome and am applying his thorough explanation of being kind to all out of the love of Jesus Christ. Furthermore, I hope that people including my friends and family see me being kind. I hope my family and friends will correct me when I am not kind. I pray the Holy Spirit will bless you and me with the fruit of kindness as well as teach you and me how to be even more kind. In today's world where many are all about "me" and not "we", I pray the Lord will help turn my "me" into "we" and with a loving kindness. Then, maybe someone will know the Lord Jesus from our kindness.

Well done and thanks for highlighting this need especially among the crises of today, President Barry Corey.

Main Points

Here are the main points that I really liked from this book.

• A Father's Kindness - sets the stage of life
• Seeing kindness modeled through his father (also a pastor) while growing up was his key influence which also helped in understanding the Father's kindness. 
• Countercultural engagement
• Kindness must be authentic and persistent even through messy situations
• Kindness includes humility
• Kindness takes patience: time and positive energy
• Kindness has more power than people think, and comes back around stronger than karma
• The story of Leah (in the Bible): The Way of Kindness sees Beauty in Ashes
• Kindness is attractive, publicly and privately
• Kindness is a free gift with no expectations of any returns
• Kindness is not accepted nor recognized by everyone, and that's okay
• Kindness leads to repentance and new life
• The Kindness Challenge
• Every Christian is challenged to be kind like Jesus Christ, all the time. This is essential to understanding and practicing the grace we have received from God.
• The Kindness Experiment: 7 Thoughts on Softening our Edges (& Keeping Firm Center)
• A firm center and soft edges means:
• 1.  we become more involved in the culturally unfamiliar.
• 2. we are creators of goodness and beauty.
• 3. we approach the growing opposition in our day by leading with humility.
• 4. we fear not when our grace is met with hostility.
• 5. we remain even more deeply rooted in biblical faithfulness.
• 6. that evangelism is at the heart of why we live this way.
• 7. we need to remember that Christ-centeredness means we will never be marginalized.

Favorite Quotes

There were a lot of nice quotes by the author, but I'll limit to eight...teen. :)

1. Repentance, more than anything else, changes lives. And kindness leads us there.
2. Kindness embodies courage.
3. Kindness focuses on how I open myself for others to receive me, whether they choose to or not.
4. Life is a journey from certainty to uncertainty...the antidote to uncertainty is not certainty. It's confidence (meaning "with faith").
5. Not all who wander are lost. (J.R.R. Tolkien)
6. The kinder way is to be present in others' lives with an honest spirit that isn't waiting for the conversation to turn toward me. That's a spirit that receives others more than it wants to be received.
7. Performance is less effective than purpose.
8. May I learn that a lesson in life is a lessened me. (John 3:30)
9. In our home countries, we identified as Presbyterian and Pentecostal, Baptist and Anglican, Reformed and Lutheran. In Dhaka, we identified as Christ-followers, worshipping together and walking side by side to the Lord's Table as the people of God.
10. Loving those who are different than we are is what we are supposed to do.
11. Kindness - listening while wanting to learn about someone.
12. Listening is a dimension of loving.
13. God's kind of kindness is far different from niceness or tolerance because it leads us to see our own depravity. In Romans 2 Paul writes under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit that kindness will reveal in us and in others our fallen nature and will draw us all to the cross of Christ: "God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance" (verse 4). This profound truth about kindness points to its purpose: repentance.
14. Compassion demands proximity.
15. Rejection. We need to get use to it and get over it.
16. Nobody single-handedly has the capacity to change the world. Christians tend to love extra large strategies that pledge to impact the world in short order. We need to take the long view through respectful collaborations and earnest conversations, all done in the spirit of kindness.
17. Life in Christ is less about our results and more about our character.
18. Kindness that bends to accept as valid everyone else's viewpoint is not kindness. We can be kind and strong in our perspective. We can be kind and encourage one another toward purity before God. We can be kind and lovingly persuade someone to at least consider our perspective on what the Bible teaches. Kindness is not built thoughtlessly on the cliche that we "agree to disagree" and then never engage in conversation. Kindness frees us to hold deep moral convictions minus the vitriol.

Favorite Verse

"Anyone who welcomes you welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me." - Matthew 10:40

What's Missing?

Well, I think a training program is required for such a book because "kindness" takes lots of practice. We're talking about an exercise like "strength & conditioning" for athletes. Also, I don't agree with the term "evangelism" being at the heart of why we live this way (in point 6). But, I do agree with his explanation in point 6. He mentions "The time-honored calling of the church to start hospitals and rescue missions and schools has been overtaken by others of no faith at all." I agree to a degree. ;-) I simply think many churches have lost their connection to the historically founded hospitals and schools. Furthermore, I think Christians have forgotten to use all of their gifts with much of the hype being around evangelism and focus on sharing faith by word instead of "word and deed". Which is why I love how President Barry closes out point 6: "In a world increasingly skeptical of Christians and stereotyping from a distance, we have to restore our approach to the Jesus way, calling us to a more winsome and savvy articulation of the gospel in word and deed."